Marriage and Money

It seems that with the election over, people are moving on to new stresses in their lives. Over and over, I see two that are rising to the top: marriage and money! It isn't any wonder when you consider that the number one reason people divorce is because of financial woes! When the economy gets tight and the checking account starts to dwindle all the troubles of life seem to be magnified! And before you know it, the money is no longer the point of contention for your marriage, now it is all the little annoyances that have built up over time...they feel so huge that they seem insurmountable!
I hope that you are not in this place...yet! But if you ever find yourself in this place (or on the express train there) maybe the following steps can help you find your way out.

Remember who you want to be. We all have aspirations of the kind of parent we want to be and the kind of spouse we want to be not to mention the kind of person we want to be. Sit down and think about what you have always wanted in regards to parenting, marriage and spirituality. It's just a hunch but, I bet that none of you have ever aspired to be an absent, divorced, wounded, angry person! So ask yourself, "where are the gaps between what I always thought I would be and what I have become?" Now stop thinking about the gaps and pick one thing you can do today to start to bridge the gap, then do it. Continue doing it tomorrow and the next day and the next week and so on until it becomes who you are!

Remember the person with whom you fell in love. I know the danger in this is that you will say they have changed. That's okay, you have changed too! The kids came, you graduated, the career started, the promotion, the demotion, the new found faith, the money troubles or money solutions, the extra pounds and so on. Life changes and that means that we need to grow with it. You fell in love with him because of something you saw in him back then - remember it. Look for it in him now. You were head over heels for her because of something you saw back in the day...don't throw it all away!

Remember the One who created you. You are a perfect creation of a loving God! He wants what is best for you, He wants you to be happy and successful, and He is way smarter than you! God says it is in your best interest to rebuild and reconnect the love you once shared with your spouse.

Get help! Start by crying out to God for help. Ask Him to help you see the gap between who you are and who you want to be. Ask Him to give you the capacity to love when it is hard. Ask Him to give opportunities for you to communicate with you spouse. Once you have asked God for help now reach out to the people around you that you trust. Start with the people in your iTeam or small group from church. Allow others to walk with you and encourage you while at the same time giving them permission to say the hard things that you need to hear. Go to your pastor or a professional counselor but please go somewhere!

I know that this is just a start but I hope you find it encouraging and full of hope. It is always my prayer that God would bless you in every way. Pass this on to anyone you think might benefit from it. Keep up the great work and we will celebrate together as our marriages find hope.